7 Deadly Sins
by Akutoresu
Summary: Oneshot Jack, Will, Elizabeth and others each have their own sin to deal with. Watch what happens when Jack has lust, Elizabeth has wrath after Jack had just called her ugly and more! extremely funny! Rated T for makeout scenes.


**Okay this is my first fanfic on Pirates of the Caribbean. Please review when your finished. This is a one-shot! On to the story…**

Jack stared at the box on the table. It was glowing a white, shiny glow, one that would attract anyone to open it. Except for Elizabeth who yelled "Don't even think about opening that! That there holds the seven deadly sins. Open that and we're screwed!"

Jack turned to her in confusion. "Who said I was going to open it?" Just as Elizabeth was about to say anything, Jack the monkey came running over and opened it himself. The sins or 'shiny things' came rushing through the air and each found a resting place in each person (and monkey)'s body.

Norrington stood tall. "Alright! Since I have the almighty pride, I will be the one who takes the honor of giving orders!" He said proudly. Barbossa yelled back at him. "Will ye first tell us what sins we 'ave?" "fine." Norrington agreed.

Jack yawned. "I'm tired….where is the rum around here?" He said. Norrington replied, "sloth." Jack screeched back "Did I ask for your opinion?? Whatever….I'm too exhausted to fight." He lied down on a nearby sofa with a bottle of rum in his hand.

Elizabeth had her arms around Barbossa's neck and was flirting with him. He refused to flirt back however, and was trying his best to get her off of him. "Lust." Norrington said, shielding his eyes.

Will ran up to Barbossa and was about to pull his sword out. "Hey, get your grimy hands off my Elizabeth!" he yelled. Barbossa thanked him as Elizabeth noticed that another man was standing by her and Barbossa. She freed Barbossa and went over to Will and started making out with him. "Mr.Turner…You have Envy. Now please get her off of you before you make me sick." Norrington said, still shielding his eyes. Will peels her off, not liking Norrington's solution.

Jack the monkey was cursed with gluttony. He stole Jack's hat (Jack didn't notice because he was too busy sleeping), Elizabeth's hairpin, and Barbossa's apple.

"HOW COULD YE SLEEP WHEN YE'S SOUL BELONGS TO ME?!?!?!" The loud scream from Davy Jones woke Jack up as Davy Jones took a swing from his sword at him. He missed, and Jack opened his eyes to see a sword in his bottle of rum. Jack gasped. "Oh, it's on now" he said.

Jack pulled out his sword and started fighting Davy Jones (who had wrath, in case you didn't know) when a light suddenly burst out of him and started floating in the air. He pointed to it and said "shiny…" Davy Jones took this as his chance and stabbed Jack right in the heart.

Jack had a rather surprising response. "ow, ow, ow, ow…" he continued to say. Davy Jones stared in disbelief as Jack continued to speak in pain but didn't simply die. "I'm dead already, ye idiot!" Jack said, after he finished swearing.

"I already paid me debt by losing my life...Now what was that shiny thing that came out of me..."

**Norrington noticed the 'shiny' that Jack was talking about and came up with a conclusion. "That's it!" he yelled. Jack stared at him, waiting for him to continue. "Get rid of your sin, by doing something completely opposite."**

**"So…" Jack began. "If that was my sin…then this means I am not a lazy drunk no more! Yay!" Jack was overjoyed, then Norringtion broke it. "No you were always a lazy drunk, just not as much as sloth had made you. You're free of that…for now at least. Your sin is floating in the air, I guess it could only be gone by trading with another person's sin."**

Jack backed into a wall with Davy Jones following him. Jack had lost his sword earlier in the fight. "Make-ah!-Davy Jones trade! Eek!" he squeaked. He ducked in order to dodge Jones' sword flying at him. Davy Jones tried to stab Jack, but Jack quickly fell to the ground and the sword was now stuck in the wall. Davy pulled and pulled on it, but it was unsuccessful. Davy gave up trying to pull it out.

Just as Jack took a sigh of relief, Davy Jones quickly grabbed a random rock and threw it at Jack. Jack cringed. "ow…that hurt…" he whined.

Davy Jones still had his wrath. "Apparently killing you wasn't enough!! I shall make you suffer until you join my side on the Flying Dutchman. Where be the Kraken?!" Jack gulped at this thought. He did not want to be eaten again.

The Kraken appeared. Davy Jones pointed at Jack and ordered the Kraken to eat him. Jack scrammed to find a hiding place. He found a barrel and without thinking jumped into it, only to find it was filled with rum. He was now soaked with the stuff.

"c-c-coll…dd…" Jack managed to say, shivering. Elizabeth spotted Jack freezing in the barrel, completely soaked with rum, (she didn't get rid of her lustful sin yet) and started to walk towards him. "Rum is sooo sexy!" She said as Jack hid more into the barrel.

Jack pointed at another glow floating in the air. "Shiny!" he said, coming out of his protective barrel. Elizabeth used this to her advantage and wrapped her arms around Jack. She suddenly stopped and took a step back. Jack got a little offended, but waited for her to speak first.

"You got me soaked with rum you dirty pirate!" she scolded him. Her sin was then released into the air along with the others. Jack then named it shiny. Again. He then went to counter Elizabeth's accusation of him getting her rum-soaked.

"So…you're the one who hugged me. Your fault not mine." He replied. Elizabeth was outraged. "MY fault? You're the one standing in a barrel of rum! Plus, why would I hug _you? _I love Will." She finished as Jack cringed in fear of what she might do when she was angry. Believe it or not, Elizabeth could be scary if she really wanted to be.

Will was happy with the last words she said and smiled like a complete dork. "And I am grateful with what I have!" he said to no one in particular. His sin was released from him.

Jack saw the sin and his mood was lifted. "Another shiny!" he said joyfully. Elizabeth stood, seemingly just as happy as Jack. "Ha. I win. Again." She said, smiling. Jack's mood was still very overjoyed, as he replied, "No you don't. To answer your question, you hugged me because ye thought I was sexy." Jack said, feeling special after saying the second half of that last sentence.

Elizabeth blushed. "I would do no such thing!" she denied it. Jack decided to back down, as he did not want to get her too mad. "You had lust, love. No need to be embarrassed. If it was me, I might have done the same thing!" he laughed.

Elizabeth stopped blushing and looked intrigued. "You would?" she said, smiling. Now it was Jack's turn to blush, as he started feeling uneasy. "Well…maybe…Only because of the sin though." He quickly changed the subject, noticing that he had just called Elizabeth ugly. "Hey, look! Another shiny! And another!" It appears that Jack the monkey, Barbossa, and Norrington all lost their sins. Or according to Jack, lost their 'shinys.'

Elizabeth didn't fall for Jack's quick change of subject. "Only because of a sin?" she frowned. "So you think I'm _**ugly **_in real life?!" she yelled. Jack cringed in fear of Elizabeth's next act. He waved his hands in the air and tried to explain himself. "No! No! No! That's not-" he didn't get to finish as the sins re-arranged themselves by going back into everyone's body. "Shiny!" Jack became happy, but then frowned when he looked at Elizabeth's expression, which was extremely outraged.

"WILL YOU STOP WITH THE SHINY?!" she yelled, frustrated. She took a pole and bent it in half, then threw it to the side. Jack got out of the barrel and started backing away from her. Then his eyes went wide with terror as he saw Elizabeth take a hot poker stick out of the fire. "Wait! Lizzie, please!!" he tried to stop her but was of no use. She started chasing after him.

"Why does _**she**_ have to get wrath?!" Jack wondered. While he was running he found a piece of treasure and stole it. "I need more…" he started feeling. "Oh great…" he realized why. "I have gluttony…wait a second…I feel like I'm forgetting something…"

"JACK SPARROW!!!!!!" Elizabeth was coming up behind him. "Oh, right." He said before running away again. He conveniently tripped on a rock and backed away against a wall, then stood up. He saw the hot poker stick coming for him and quickly, he purposely fell to the ground. His hand instead, suffered. "OOWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled loud enough for everyone to hear. As he sat down against the wall, he started shaking and blowing his hand in order to cool it down. "Ye burned me!" he scolded Elizabeth, whose eyes were still filled with rage.

"There's more where that came from…!" She said evilly. Jack stared in shock.

Norrington tried to get Elizabeth's attention. "It's okay, Elizabeth. Just come over to mwah, and then all your problems will be solved!" Elizabeth failed to notice. It was obvious Norrington had lust.

Will rolled his eyes at Norrington's attempt. "You're ruining my glory you lustful pervert." In case you didn't know, Will had pride.

Barbossa ran over to Jack the monkey, who was lying on the floor unconscious. "Breathe, Jack, breathe!" he tried shaking the monkey roughly. The monkey yelled in his face, for it was only sleeping. Jones grabbed the monkey's tail and him and Barbossa start pulling at both ends fighting at who gets to keep poor Jack, who was screeching in pain.

Jack Sparrow backed against a wall as all his lifelines have been run out. He was trapped, and an angry Elizabeth held the poker stick high above her head, as if to stab Jack dead. Jack of course, couldn't die, however he still had a sense of touch. And that poker stick looked like it would hurt much. Just as she was about to stab Jack, shiny things came out of everyone, and Elizabeth dropped her poker stick. Jack sighed in relief.

"shiny!" he said. Elizabeth glared at him, and he moved back a little, still on the floor.

She wasn't going to kill him though. She had other things in mind. I'll give you one clue: Davy Jones had lust. Elizabeth flew her arms up in the air. "Get off of me you tentacle-d freak!" She pushed him off and he fell to the floor, knocked out. Elizabeth tried to catch her breath. Davy Jones, was, believe it or not, heavy.

"Well it's pretty obvious what he has..." Jack said, still against the wall as if Elizabeth was still mad. She was, but wrath was released from her so she didn't feel the need to kill him.

Instead, when Jack stood up, she asked him something. "Why was I mad at you again?" she asked him. Jack pretended like he didn't remember. Norrington blew his cover. Norrington had wrath, and wanted revenge on the pirate. "He called you ugly." He happily said to Elizabeth.

"Oh, that's right." She said glaring at Jack. Jack regretted standing up, as Elizabeth walked up to him and slapped him. Jack turned back around to face her. He didn't say anything, thinking that it would be a wrong thing to say. She slapped him again anyway.

"alright, alright, I get it. Calling Liz ugly, bad." He said, pretending to scold himself. Elizabeth was still mad. "I'm still mad at you. This isn't over." She waited for Jack to say 'How can I make it up to you?' but he didn't. She slapped him again.

"I didn't deserve that…" He said, now mad at Elizabeth. "Well…" She said angrily. "You were supposed to say something like 'how can I make it up to you?' That's what a gentleman would say!" Jack almost choked when she said that. "I don't know how you failed to notice that I am nowhere near a gentleman." Jack replied. Elizabeth raised her hand to slap him again, but Jack grabbed it to stop her. "That's enough hurting me for one day, savvy?" he said. She put her hand down angrily. She didn't leave.

Jack sighed. "How can I make it up to you…?" he asked in a tone that was mocking. Elizabeth smiled. But just as she was about to name her terms, sins were released from everyone and switched around again.

Elizabeth, having pride, now felt sorry for Jack. "Never mind. You don't have to do anything for me." She replied with a smile. Her smile faded when she saw Jack had lust. _'Why must I be the only woman here…?!?!' _she thought. "But I can easily change my mind." She said when she saw the look in Jack's eyes. He wrapped his arms around her. "You don't need Will, do ye?" he asked, not expecting an answer.

Elizabeth pushed him off, but he just returned. "Does anyone have wrath around here?!" she yelled, asking for a rescue as Jack, being the pervert that he is, was staring at her figure. Without thinking, she slapped him as hard as she could.

He didn't care, unfortunately. He kissed her. She enjoyed it for a few moments, but then saw Will, who looked like he was ready to commit suicide. She pushed him off and slapped him. Suddenly, all sins returned back to the box. Elizabeth's eyes were filled with rage, as were Will's. They were both staring at Jack.

"How many times can a man get slapped in one day…?"He asked sarcastically. Then he noticed that both Will and Elizabeth were staring at him. "What…?" he asked, although he knew the answer already. "I think you know…" Elizabeth said. "We weren't meant to be together, Captain Jack." Elizabeth said.

"ah, that may be true." Jack began. Clearly, he had more to say. "But in case ye didn't notice, most people are in favor of Sparrabeth." He said. Elizabeth cringed at the word. "Sparrabeth?!" she repeated it angrily. She walked up to him and slapped him again. Jack was used to it now. He wasn't the least bit surprised.

He got distracted when he saw a glowing box.

Jack stared at the box on the table. It was glowing a white, shiny glow, one that would attract anyone to open it. Except for Elizabeth who yelled "Don't even think about opening that! That there holds the seven deadly sins. Open that and we're screwed!"

**And so the cycle continues! (look at the first paragraph to understand). Please review! I'm sorry this is so long if that bothers you, but this is a one-shot and I had just so many ideas for it!! Now click on your friend the review button!! By the way, try counting how many times Jack got slapped. ;**


End file.
